An original story that was inspired one night when my eight-year-old son, Rudy (Roo for short) said he wanted to put on a play about Pooh and Piglet and the gang, and we had to come up with a story. So the two of us sat down and came up with some ideas. The story below is the result of our brainstorming.
"Piglet is missing." Pooh held his head in his paws and shook from side to side. He was in Rabbit's living room and hadn't even touched his Plate of Hunny, so Rabbit knew Pooh was upset.
"But he's only been gone for two hours, Pooh." Rabbit couldn't yet understand why his round friend was worried.
Piglet had gone for a stroll with Barney, Christopher Robin's neighbor's dog, and sometimes Barney liked to go for short walks, in which he and Piglet would walk side by side and talk about Things like the weather, and Haycorns or Dog Biscuits, and how much two times three really was when you got to the end of the problem.
But sometimes Barney felt like a long stroll, and then Piglet would carefully climb onto Barney's shoulders and find a comfortable spot between the dog's head and shoulders (usually about the neck, with one foot behind each ear) and the two would travel much faster and longer with only four feet instead of all six.
This also made for better conversations because Barney had a Loud Voice which could be heard from quite a distance away, but Piglet had a Small Squeaky Voice which was sometimes difficult to hear, and especially so when you mixed the sound of six feet clomping along. But when Piglet rode atop Barney's shoulders, he was also right behind Barney's ears, so Piglet could whisper and Barney could still hear him just fine.
"They were heading to the new Supermarket at the edge of the Woods. Piglet said something about Specials and Dogs and Treats, and Barney get all excited as Piglet was telling him this, and then they were gone." Pooh kept shaking his head back and forth.
Pooh's life was a simple one, consisting of short and long walks, an occasional Explore, Pooh Sticks whenever he and his friends had a chance to meet at Pooh Sticks Bridge, Jars of Hunny and Smackerels, and creating an occasional Hum or Poem. Specials and Stores made him dizzy and complicated his life. "I wonder if they got lost and we'll have to arrange and Expotition to find them," Pooh said. Now he was thinking of a solution, but if you ever accused Pooh of Thinking, he would tell you he had no idea that was what he was doing; he was just doing it.
Pooh had never been to the supermarket, so he had to get help in his search. Owl flew here and there above things and could be counted on to give reasonably good directions on how to get someplace, as long as it wasn't too far and you didn't mind Owl spending a good part of the afternoon explaining why one way was better than another.
Pooh Bear felt the Supermarket wasn't too far, otherwise Piglet and Barney would have had to ask for help from Christopher Robin's mother, which they did not.
"Owl, I need you help," Pooh asked, trying to look like he was in a hurry to get an answer, which he was.
"Always happy to oblige an acquaintance," Owl hooted.
"Yes. I think. Oh well, Owl, I need to know how to get to the Supermarket. Piglet is lost and I must find him."
"The Supermarket..." Owl was drumming his wings on the table next to his favorite chair. "Would that be that long, flat building with lots of straight line stripes in front of the door?" Owl's perspective is always from the north side of things, so he had never seen the building from an east or west side, but always looking down from what he considered to be north, or Up.
"That sounds about right. Where is it, Owl?"
"Let me see. If I fly over the tallest tree in the woods, then swoop down to avoid some nasty billboards along the road, I believe it's about five minutes from here."
"How do I get there?" Pooh needed to know.
"Fly there," Owl answered matter-of-factly.
"I can't fly, Owl. Only Animals with Wings can fly, and I don't believe I have any wings. Only you have wings, and that's why I'm asking you, because you've flown there and been back. Do you know how I can get there, Owl?" This was quite a large amount of words for Pooh to string together in one thought, but he was quite anxious at this point and had started pacing Rabbit-like in front of Owl's chair.
"Then go straight that direction and you will find the Supermarket. That's how I would get there." Owl pointed out his west window at a large clump of trees and the Large Cliff in the distance.
"Owl, I can't just go straight. I need you to draw a map, with lots of Things on it, so I can follow it and get to the Supermarket and rescue Piglet and Barney."
"Oh." Owl took out a piece of paper and drew a rather involved map, adding Things here and there and explaining what each Thing meant and where it could be found. "Follow these explicit directions ..."
"Gesundheit, Owl," Pooh said.
"I'm sorry, Pooh. I didn't sneeze. You only say Gesundheit when someone sneezes, and I'm sure I didn't sneeze."
"You certainly did. Right before you said the word 'directions'. It must be all the pollen that those bees outside your window are carrying around with them." Pooh didn't want to insult his friend and say that he thought he sneezed because his house was too dusty. That would not have been nice, and Pooh Bear was, if anything, a tactful bear who went out of his way to not insult someone.
"I did not sneeze. Anyway, follow these explicit directions and you shall find the Supermarket." Owl handed Pooh Bear the map just as Pooh Bear was about to say that Owl sneezed right before saying "directions" again. Pooh Bear decided that if Owl was sure he had not sneezed, then he was not going to argue the point with his feathery friend. But he was sure he had heard him sneeze again.
"Thank you, Owl. I shall go right away." Pooh Bear climbed down from Owl's house and followed the directions to the Supermarket, only backwards because he was holding the map Upside Down. Fortunately, Owl had drawn the map with so many mistakes in it that, by following the map Upside Down, Pooh was able to find the Supermarket faster than if he had been able to follow the map Rightside Up This was fortunate because Pooh was now quite tired and hoped that he would find Piglet and Barney soon so they could all go back to his house in the Hundred Acre Woods for a little Smackerel and some Treats.
Pooh walked to the front door, which "whooshed" open as he got near. "Thank you," Pooh said to whoever it might have been who opened the door for him, although he couldn't see anyone in particular who might have "whooshed" the door open. But since Pooh was, if nothing else, a most Polite Bear, he felt it would be the proper thing to do to say "Thank you" when a door is opened for you, in case the person who opened the door is hiding somewhere to see if the Bear walking through the door is the Polite Kind of Bear who says "Thank you" and "Please" or if he is the Rude Kind of Bear who "Harumphs" at everything in life, which Pooh Bear certainly was not.
No one answered Pooh's "Thank you," which upset Pooh because maybe the person who opened the door for didn't hear his "Thank you" will think Pooh to be the Rude type of bear. But he had bigger fish to fry, or in this case, Piglets and Dogs to find. "If I were a Piglet, where would I look?" thought Pooh to himself. "I would certainly go to the Haycorn section, which is probably with the Fruits and Nuts at the front of this store. No. Piglet said something about Treats, and this got Barney all excited. He probably went to the Treats section, wherever that might be. Maybe it's next to the Hunny section, so I'll check that one out first."
Pooh searched aisle after aisle of delicious looking food, until he got to the Jams, Jellies, and Hunny section. He checked this aisle very carefully, looking in-between each and every one of the jars of jam and pots of hunny to see if his friends had fainted behind one or got lost and were searching for a way out.
Just as Pooh was about to leave the Hunny aisle he noticed an open Pot of Hunny. "This isn't right. All the other jars and pots are sealed shut, but this one is open. I shall have to investigate." And investigate he did. Pooh stuck his nose into the jar and smelled Cheese. "This is not right," Pooh thought, "the store manager would never want to sell cheese inside a Hunny Jar, unless of course there was a very small layer of cheese on top of a very large amount of Hunny, to seal in the flavor. But suppose this is cheese all the way through, then someone may buy this Pot of Hunny, for that is what it is marked, and take it home. They would open it when they had a Strong Desire for a Smackerel or Two of Hunny. They would dip their Paw into the Jar and pull out cheese. They would be so upset that they would never shop at this supermarket again." So to help out the store manager and keep the customers happy, Pooh Bear investigated the Pot further and, licking away and tasting the first layer of Cheese, found another layer of Cheese. "Aha! There is a mistake. This is a Pot of Cheese disguised as a Pot of Hunny. Unless of course the Hunny is sealed in extra tight below two layers of cheese." So Pooh removed and disposed of the second layer of cheese and found, as he suspected, Hunny sealed below the two layers of cheese. "Now the store manager has another problem," Pooh reasoned, "and that is what is he going to do with a Pot of Hunny that is supposed to have Two Layers of Cheese on Top. The cheese muist have been there for a reason, and that would be to seal in the freshness of the Hunny. But now the Hunny will no longer be fresh. The manager will have to toss this Pot of Hunny away, and that would be a waste. I shall help him create a re-usable Empty Pot that can hold balloons and surprises and what-nots. That will be better than a no-longer-sealed-for-freshness Pot of Hunny." So Pooh helped the manager by cleaning the remaining Hunny out of the Pot and, making sure the Pot was good and clean, looked for the Empty Jar and Pot section of the Supermarket. Finding this, he placed the Pot right up front, because this was now the brightest and cleanest Pot for sale.
"Now I must find Piglet and Barney. That's what I came here for, and not to do Good Deeds such as creating Empty Pots for sale in this store." Pooh checked each aisle for his friends, but they were nowhere to be found. Deciding that Piglet and Barney may have left the store and headed home, Pooh checked the aisles one more time, taking care to check the Jam, Jelly, and Hunny section once more to see if any more Empty Pots needed to be created. All the while he was checking, Pooh was calling Piglet and Barney's names, hoping his friends would hear him and find him instead of Pooh having to find them.
As Pooh neared the last few pots of Hunny he heard a Yip and a Yap and several Woofs and, turning around, caught a Vision of Fur moving unusually fast past several Jars of Jelly. Attached to the Ears of the Vision of Fur was a small Pink Animal holding on for all he was worth. The Vision of Fur's tail wagged back and forth with enough force to cause several Pots of Hunny to crash to the floor, spilling a Sticky Substance from side to side. Barney had a bag of Treats clamped tightly between his teeth, and upon meeting Pooh he dropped the Treats and thoroughly washed Pooh's face clean of any last morsels of Hunny and Cheese.
"I'm so very glad to see you," Pooh managed to say as Barney gave him one last lick. "I knew you were here somewhere, but I had almost given up hope of ever finding you again. I'm glad you found me." Pooh shook himself to dry his fur. He hugged the Very Small Animal on Barney's back and gave the Vision of Fur a healthy scratching under his collar.
"We weren't lost, Pooh. We were busy. Barney couldn't decide which treats he liked the best, so he had to sample each one before he could choose. It's a good thing Christopher Robin's mother is good friends with the store manager, otherwise we would have come home much sooner. Will you join us one our way home, Pooh?" Piglet asked. But Pooh said "Thank you" but told Piglet that he had some business to attend to at the store, and he would see the two of them home later.
Piglet and Barney had already paid for their treats, and the treats that Barney had samples to decide that these were the right kind of treats, so they left the store to head back home.
Pooh went to the manager's office to tell him of an Accident that had happened in the Hunny aisle and offered his services to clean up the mess that had been created due to the Accident. The manager drummed his fingers on the side of his desk, muttered something about charging more to Christopher Robin's mother's account, and gratefully, we think, accepted Pooh's offer. With a shout of glee, Pooh trotted back to the Hunny Aisle and began, carefully so as not to miss a drop, to clean up the floor of the Sticky Substance that had been spilled in the Accident.
I'd appreciate any comments, both positive and negative (but preferably constructive if they're negative) about this story or my writing style. I can be reached at Wstoler@aol.com.